“You can’t hide from yourself
Everywhere you go there you are.
I just got to say that,
You can’t hide from yourself
Everywhere you go there you are. “
-Teddy Pendergrass
I know we all need mantras to get us motivated. We thrive on inspiration to push ourselves. And let me tell you, I love motivational inspiration. I literally have a page from Mel Robbins 5-4-3-2-1 book in my bedside table that I place in clear view on jam packed days. Sometimes I even print out sample timelines and put them on the bookshelf in my bedroom. And when I wake up, I’m pressured into action (which isn’t always the most therapeutic). What can I say… I guess I really love maximizing my days with things to do. Now, I am learning to listen to myself when I do happen to have a bad day.
The last couple of weeks have been emotionally challenging for so many people. In my personal experience, I have found a lot of difficulty in Keeping Calm and Carrying On in light of what is happening on a humanitarian level in our country and beyond. There has been a sense of helplessness that I have felt that creates anger and then sadness. All of which, I think, is easy to be redirected inward.
We’ve all seen the hashtag no bad days which basically means we will cope with whatever is thrown our way and finding the positive outlook in life. And yes. Most of us want to feel good, be healthy and be happy. But sometimes to be happy, you have to listen to symptoms that present themselves during what may appear to be a bad day.
One thing I have come to realize is that I am both a time optimist and an outgoing introvert. On days that I spend a lot of consulting with clients or working on troubleshooting projects, I tend to be less creative because I have less communicative bandwidth left. On production days (days when I “batch” my writing, research, and media projects), I can creatively flow for hours and communicate my ideas creatively. But if I don’t allow myself the breathing room that is needed, then I am not truly being productive. I’m just being busy.
For example, I recently realized that I have a tendency to set myself up for failure with my time optimism. And it is rare, especially during this pandemic, where I’ve allowed myself to just be when I have downtime. And by just being, I mean no plans or obligations. Just me being me and doing whatever I felt in that moment. If I felt like writing, I would write for a bit. And if I felt like working out, I’d do a light run. I’m not going to lie. When I allow myself these “free days,” I do have to actively resist the temptation of being productive solely for productivity’s sake.
I believe a lot of us feel as if we are aren’t supposed to have bad days ever. Just as we embrace the notion that flaws or imperfections have beauty, we have to believe that days of melancholy may have their value as well. There were moments that I have had to talk myself out of feeling guilty for not being extremely productive or for being particularly peppy. There are some days I feel like crap for no particular reason. And I feel that I have to undo something emotionally as if I have done something to fasten myself to discomfort in the first place.
In short, there’s a lot of uncertainty in our world right now that could lead many of us to anxiety and the general feeling of blah. By removing the judgement and understanding that there is nothing wrong with having bad days, you allow yourself to acknowledge and practice consciousness. Ask yourself is this feeling a symptom of something in particular? And when I ask myself this question, sometimes I realize that sometimes the answer is as simple as taking uninterrupted time walking my dog or sitting in nature. Yes, I agree that every day can be a gift. Part of me really loves the mantra, No bad days. But even bad days can be beneficial (if you give yourself permission to take loving care of yourself, listen to what your symptoms are telling you and do good things for your mind, body and health.
To hear more, tune into the Podcast Episode: Yes, Bad Days
Editorial Resources referenced in Episode:
https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/what-is-reparenting-and-how-to-begin/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-be-friend-our-unhealthy-survival-mech
